


Cheers, Angel Eyes

by wannaliveindeansdimples



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Bartender Dean, Blow Jobs, Coming In Pants, Fluff, M/M, Schmoop, Smut, graphic depictions of drinking, grey sexual cas, impala making out, making out on pool tables, no matter the universe or circumstance they always find each other and act all schmoopy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 12:02:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is a bartender. He's noticed a new semi-regular and even given him a nickname. Pretty soon he and "Angel Eyes" become friends. Dean wants more, but is secretive, awkward Castiel ready to give it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> None of my fics would be possible without my lovely Beta, Bestie and sister, Mahbbys. I hope you like this even half as much as she did.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta caught an error after I posted, but it has been dealt with now. If you catch it later on, you're not crazy, I changed it. If you didn't catch it, then this message will self-destruct.

* * *

Dean’s working a rag over the bar when Angel Eyes comes in. That isn’t the guy’s name, but Dean doesn’t know his name - dude always pays in cash - and the nickname fits. The guy doesn’t come in every day like some patrons, or even every week, but he’s been coming to the bar at least a few times a month for the last few months.

Dean gives a small smile and a little wave and Angel Eyes returns it before looking around. Dean hopes he’ll sit at the bar, but he might not, even though the place is pretty dead at the moment. He rarely sits in the same place twice, which Dean has asked him about before. The guy said he was looking for the best spot.

One of the other regulars shouts for another round of beer for his table, so Dean busies himself with that and doesn’t have time to pay attention to where Angel Eyes sits down. He gets the tray ready and sets it on the bar for the waitress, Sarah to pick up and carry over when she comes back from the table she just took orders from.

When he turns around he sees Angel Eyes sitting at the other end of the bar, right in front of where he usually hangs out when he’s doing anything other than making drinks. Most people don’t like it because it’s so close to the swinging door that separates the bar from the serving floor, so except when they are packed, it’s usually free for Dean.

“Hey, man, what can I get you?” The guy not only changed seats every time, but he rarely ordered the same drink he’d had on a previous visit, either. He generally stuck to one type per visit, but he often only had the one, anyway. Dean had seen him order a second drink a handful of times and on one occasion, he’d had three, but he clearly wasn’t a big drinker.

“I feel like a beer tonight, I think. What can you recommend?”

“Uh, let’s see. Have you tried the house chocolate caramel porter? We’ve only had it on tap a few weeks.”

“No, I don’t believe I have. I’ll take that.” The guy smiled and Dean busied himself with pouring his beer so he could pretend it didn’t give his insides little flip-flops. Just like he pretended it was normal for him to know the habits of a semi-regular as well as he knew those of the patrons who were here everyday.

Before he was finished, a voice said, “Heya there, cutie pie, can I get another beer and change for a $5?”

“Ellen, are you still playing that damn poker machine?”

“Don’t sass the customers, Dean,” she told him with a wink. “You wanna win big, you gotta lose big, boy!”

Dean shook his head, chuckling and handed Angel Eyes his beer with a smile. He saw the hand pop over to the tip jar as he turned away and one side of his mouth went up that much more. Guy may not do most things regularly, but he always tipped well, whether he sat at the bar or a table. If he sat at a table, he’d tip the wait staff and then leave a tip at the bar when he was done.

Dean refilled Ellen’s beer and popped open the register. Ellen handed him a $10 to pay for the beer and asked for $5 of it in change. The rest she tossed in his jar. She looked over at Angel Eyes and said, “I’m trusting you to make him behave, dollface.” The guy’s face registered shocked surprise, but when she winked at him and turned around he busted out laughing.

And yeah, ok, it was hard not to love that laugh, Dean had to admit. Dean wasn’t sure what to do now. He had lots of little tasks he could be doing, since the place only had a dozen people in it and they all had fresh drinks, but Angel Eyes had taken his spot on the bar. He supposed it wouldn’t be that weird if he did the stuff close by?

“You don’t mind, do you?” he asked the guy as he set a tub out from under the counter onto the bar just a couple of feet away from where Angel Eyes was sitting. “It’s just I keep all my stuff down here, so it’s easier to work on it here.”

“Not at all. I’ve noticed you down here working before.” He took a long pull off his beer. “This beer is delicious. I’m glad you suggested it.”

“Yeah, porters are good. They’re not for everybody, but I like ‘em.” He grinned as he folded napkins around sets of silverware. “So, how’s the, uh...shoot, what is it you do again?”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever said, Dean.”

Dean knew he hadn’t, but he was always trying to get him to drop a hint about it. The guy was too good, though. He never answered direct questions and never gave a clue. It didn’t matter, except for the fact that Dean was apparently making his own personal information collection on the guy and wanted new pieces to add. Guy hadn’t given his name, either, but Dean stuttered over that thought when another occurred to him.

Angel Eyes had never called him Dean before, either. That made him smile a little bit, for some reason. “Huh, ok. Well, anyway, how’s business?”

The guy smiled at him, as if pleased that Dean would not press the issue. Dean was good at his job and he hardly ever pushed for information from any patrons. However, he was even less inclined to push Angel Eyes. Dean had a feeling the guy would rabbit without coming back if the bartender were to persist in looking for answers. Especially when it was clear the guy had avoided giving any.

“Business is fine. A little dull and a bit lonely sometimes, but fine, on the whole. How about you? Made enough to finish fixing up your car yet?”

Dean was slowly but surely restoring an old ‘67 Impala. He was pleased that the guy had remembered. “Almost, man, almost. The engine and the body are all finished. Now it’s just the interior I’m working on.” Dean finished rolling the last bit of silverware and tucked the tub back under the bar. “So what brings you here so late? It’s usually a lot earlier when you show up, isn’t it?”

“Work ran longer than expected. It was very stressful and I felt the need for a friendly face and relaxing drink.” Sarah was walking by as he said it and he smiled at her.

Dean tried not to frown. Guess his gaydar was off on the guy. “Ah,” Dean said as the waitress walked away. “Yeah, Sarah’s definitely got a friendly face.”

Angel Eyes frowned with his head cocked to the side. “I hadn’t really noticed, but I suppose you’re right.”

“Oh,” Dean said in surprise. “I thought you meant…”

“I meant you, Dean.” The bartender’s heart rate rocketed up a few notches, but the guy with the devastating blue eyes was too busy drinking his beer to notice Dean’s discomfort. “If I had meant Sarah, I’d have sat at a table.” Those blue eyes were on Dean now.

“Oh, well, thanks,” he replied, trying not to blush. He should know what to say now, but he didn’t. Usually, he was too busy trying to dissuade patrons from flirting with him. He had no idea how to encourage it. “It’s always good to see you, too, A-uh...guy.”

The guy was sticking his hand out over the bar. “I’m Castiel.”

 _Holy shit_ , Dean thought. _His name and physical contact? Hell yeah!_

“Nice to meet you, Castiel.” Dean ignored the electricity that danced across his fingers at the touch. Just because the guy thought he was friendly, that didn’t mean anything. At least he had a name now. Although, if he was honest, Dean would kind of miss “Angel Eyes”.

Another pair of customers came in demanding his attention, so Dean headed down to the other end of the bar. As he mixed their complex drink order, he could feel Castiel’s angel eyes on him. He liked it, but he wished he knew if it was interest in him or his technique for mixing drinks. When he was done, he noticed Castiel’s glass was almost empty. He lifted out the tub with the salt shakers in it and put it on the counter.

“You gonna want another one tonight, Cas?”

He was halfway through pouring the first shaker full of salt before he got an answer. “Yes, I believe I would.”

Dean poured it and set it in front of Castiel, again noting the hand slipping to the tip jar. He poured more salt while Castiel sipped. He glanced over at the guy when he realized he was studying him. “Still liking that beer?”

“Yes. Do you shorten everyone’s name?”

Dean laughed. “Not everyone, but a lot of people.” Then his face sobered. “Why? Does it bother you?”

To his relief, Castiel smiled. “No, I think I like ‘Cas’. Less formal.” He watched Dean’s hands for a moment while taking a long sip of beer. Dean couldn’t help but watch his tongue as it wiped the traces of foam that were left on his upper lip. “You are very good with your hands,” Castiel noted, surprising Dean yet again. “I watched you mixing those drinks earlier and fold those napkins - and now you’ve poured up all those shakers of salt without spilling so much as a grain. It’s fascinating.”

Dean laughed again to cover the blush that he felt on his cheeks at the compliment. “It’s nice of you to notice. I guess I do a lot of things with my hands. The car, the mixology.” He shrugged. “I’ve got a gun collection and I can disassemble and reassemble most of the handguns in under a minute. Takes a little longer for the bigger fire power, but I’m still pretty quick.”

Castiel seemed impressed. “You’re good with guns? Were you in the military or something?”

“Nah,” Dean said as he finished up with the salt and put it back under the counter. “My dad was. It was important to him when we were growing up that we learn everything he knew about weapons.” Dean told himself he was being awfully chatty with a guy who wouldn’t even tell him what his job was.

“We? Do you have siblings?”

Shit. He hadn’t even realized he had given that away. “Uh, yeah, I’ve got a brother.” He should stop talking, but he was proud of his brother and he rarely missed an opportunity to brag about him. “Sam is just about to graduate from Stanford, Summa cum Laude. He’s going to work for the DA’s office.”

“You must be very proud,” Cas said, taking another sip of his beer.

“Crazy proud, man. How about you? You got any family?”

Castiel looked at him for a moment and Dean expected him not to answer, but when Dean started filling up pretzel and nut dispensers, Castiel said, “I have several brothers, but I only get along with two of them.”

“Hey, man, I hear ya. I’ve actually got another brother myself that I can’t stand. I love Sammy to death, but as far as I’m concerned, Adam can go straight to hell and stay there.”

Castiel gave him a teasing smile. “Well, I’m not sure I’d go so far as to condemn my brothers to damnation, but…” He looked thoughtful for a few seconds. “You know, on second thought, I believe I would.”

Dean laughed out loud, holding onto his stomach. Castiel blushed a little as he smiled at him. “You’re all right, Cas.”

They talked off and on for the next two hours, in between Dean serving what few patrons needed his attention. It had been a very slow night. He was surprised and pleased when Castiel didn’t leave after his second beer. Instead, he had just swapped over to soda and then to sparkling water with lime juice. That had never happened before and Dean couldn’t help thinking it was because of him.

When Castiel was finishing his first sparkling water, a red-haired woman suddenly came to the door in a trenchcoat similar to the one Castiel often wore. She looked around the bar until she spotted Cas and got his attention. Then she waved at him to come and disappeared outside.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I have to go now. Please keep the change.” Dean watched him go, feeling deflated. Was that Castiel’s girlfriend? Wife? He frowned and turned back to pick up the money Cas had left for him. He couldn’t believe it when he saw the bill. The guy’s tab for the night was less than $20 and he’d already tipped for every drink. Yet, for some reason, the guy had left a crisp hundred lying on the bar.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas stays away too long, then Dean teaches him about pool.

* * *

If the $80 tip had restored some of the hope that seeing the woman had crushed, it was short-lived. Everyday for 3 weeks, Dean watched the door for Castiel every time it opened, only to be disappointed. The guy had never stayed away this long before. Maybe...Dean realized speculation was pointless. Dean didn’t really know enough about the guy to speculate on anything and besides which, it wouldn’t do any good. He’d only find out whether he was right if and when Cas came back to the bar and told him why he’d been away.

WIth every day that passed, it seemed less likely. And anyway, even if he did come back, as closely as the guy hoarded information, he probably wouldn’t tell Dean where he had been. After the third week, Dean stopped watching the door. He tried to forget Angel Eyes and content himself flirting with the fleets of young women who were coming in now that it was spring time again.

He was doing just that one semi-crowded night when he spotted someone sit down at the end of the bar. He’d just seen it in his peripheral vision, but he sped up the conversation with the cute brunette so he could go wait on the new arrival. She didn’t leave anything in the tip jar as she walked away with her drink and there went flirting with her again.

When he finished putting her money in the register, he finally turned to the end of the bar and a pair of blue eyes pinned him in place. After over a month of nothing, suddenly there Castiel was again, in the same seat as the last time. Dean forced himself into a smile and walked down to take his order.

“Heya, Castiel, good to see you. What’ll you have?” Dean tried not to notice that the guy looked a lot worse for the wear since the last time they’d seen each other. His dark mop of hair was even more disheveled than usual and his eyes looked haggard. He had a five o’clock shadow going and his...everything...needed a good ironing.

The smile he gave Dean went a long way toward making him look better. He looked genuinely glad to see him and that soothed some of the hurt Dean could admit he’d been feeling. It was stupid, but there it was.

“Do you still have that porter on tap?”

“Wow, Cas, the same seat and the same order two trips in a row? You feeling ok?” Dean was only half teasing. He didn’t expect Cas to answer, so he walked over to the tap and got the glass of porter. “Here you go, man.” Remembering the overly-generous tip, Dean added, “You know what? On me.”

He smiled and walked to where a new customer had just walked up. As he served them, he felt those eyes on him. When he was done, he made his way back down the bar, sensing the guy had something he wanted to say. On the way down, he noticed the couple sitting near by were almost out of their drinks, so he offered them another round.

“I decided I found my spot,” Castiel told him while he started on their drinks.

Dean grinned, “Oh, yeah? It’s the company, right?” he teased with a wink as he speared cherries for one drink and olives for the other. Secretly, he hoped it was, but he had a feeling it was something else.

“It has the best view of the bar. What I can’t see directly, I can see in the mirror. The company is a nice bonus,” he added more quietly as Dean walked over to grab a bottle.

Dean wasn’t sure he had heard him right, so he mixed the drinks without looking at Castiel. “Here you go, ladies,” he told the couple with a friendly smile. “Enjoy.” They handed him a $20 and told him to keep the change. He stopped to put the change in the tip jar before walking back to Castiel.

“Found your drink, too?”

Castiel shrugged with one shoulder and stared at his beer, shredding a napkin with his fingers. It wasn’t something Dean had ever known him to do before and he found it troubling. “I wanted something familiar. It’s been…” he trailed off before shooting Dean a quick look. Then he turned his gaze to his busy fingers. “It’s been a rough few weeks.”

Acting on instinct, Dean reached over and clapped him on the shoulder with his left hand. “Sorry to hear that, man. It really is good to see you back in here again.”

Cas smiled again, but his eyes still looked tired. He said, “Thank you for the drink, Dean. You didn’t have to do that.”

“You didn’t have to leave me an $80 tip, but you did. And I bought a gear shift with it,” he added with a wink as people at the other end of the bar demanded his attention.

It was 20 minutes before he was able to get back down to where Cas was. By that time, the guy was ready for another drink and Dean brought it without being asked. He could tell it was a two drink night. Maybe even a triple. The couple was getting up to leave and he waved and thanked them.

He set the beer down in front of Castiel. “I assumed you were going to want another, but if you don’t, that’s fine.”

“No, I do, Dean. And…” He sighed, and his eyes were more than tired now. They looked almost haunted. “Just keep them coming unless I say stop.”

Dean didn’t bother hiding his shock. “Uh, yeah, ok. You’re just doing everything differently tonight, aren’t you?” The crowd was thinning out now, but he’d just been summoned by some people down the bar. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

He didn’t know why he’d said that. It wasn’t something he ever did. It wasn’t like he and Castiel were actually friends. Somehow, though, he knew that’s just what Cas needed tonight and, for whatever reason, Dean was fond of the guy and wanted to be that for him.

Dean reflected on his interest in Angel Eyes as he mixed the drink order. Originally, he’d just noticed the eyes, sure. And the gorgeous face they were set in. But after a few visits from the guy, he’d realized the guy was funny and nice. The good tipping helped, but that wasn’t it anymore than the eyes or the good looks were. There was just something... _good_ about Cas. Something that made Dean feel good whenever Cas smiled or laughed at him or he coaxed a smile or laugh out of Cas.

He glanced down toward him and saw that the new beer was already half gone. Yeah, the guy had had one hell of a month, all right. He passed the drinks to the customers with a smile and was rewarded with a donation in the jar.

Before he could head back down to Cas, the flirty non-tipper from earlier was back and Dean waited on her with half-smile he hoped looked genuine. He wasn’t the vindictive sort, so he didn’t water down her drink, but he completely shut down all her attempts at flirtation and she walked away looking a little bit pissed off. He hoped that meant she’d be leaving soon.

He saw Cas’ glass was nearly empty now, so he tapped another before heading that way. "Here you go, man." He set the glass down in front of Cas harder than he'd meant to. The audible thunk jarred the guy out of whatever thoughts had been plaguing him. "Shit, sorry." He wiped up the bar where the couple had been sitting. Dean debated whether to say anything to Castiel or not. If it were any other regular customer, he definitely would, but Castiel played close to the vest. In the end, bit his lip and asked, "You, uh, you wanna talk about it?"

Lost looking blue eyes flashed up to his. It made Dean want to cover the guy's hand with his own and tell him things were gonna be ok. Cas gave a bitter laugh and replied, "I'd actually love to. But I can't." Then he took a long draft of his beer. He gave Dean an apologetic smile as he used a thumb to wipe foam from his lip.

"Hey, cool, man. Well, if there's anything you _can_ say and you wanna get it off your chest, it's what bartenders are good at." He said it with a wink, to hide his sincerity.

Over the next couple of hours, they made small talk whenever Dean wasn’t busy. Gradually, the hunched over shoulders raised up a bit and the pinched look of Castiel’s face smoothed out. Dean felt he’d accomplished something when he actually got the guy to laugh again. Afterward, Castiel looked almost normal again. Castiel ordered and drank two more beers before swapping out to sparkling water.

One by one the other patrons left, until there were only two others besides Castiel, one of them a regular. When the last big group walked out, Cas asked, “Is it almost closing time?”

“Still got about another hour.”

“Dean, can you call me a cab?” came the call from across the bar.

“Sure thing, Earl. You want some water while you wait?”

“Nah, man. Just the cab. Thanks.” The guy threw a dollar in the direction of the tip jar, but he missed and it fluttered to the floor. Dean picked it up and stuck it in a smaller jar under the counter labeled “Earl”. Then he called the taxi service and got a cab on the way.

Dean walked back down to the end of the bar to grab his clean up kit. He started wiping down the bar. He sent the last remaining waitress home, too. The only cleaning left was the two tables and the floor and he told her he’d take care of it.

When he started wiping down the bar, he started at the end furthest from Castiel, so he could make his way back down to where he kept his supplies. When he got about three quarters of the way around, Earl called out a “goodnight” and he raised a hand in response.

“Do you mind if I stay right up until closing, Dean?” Cas asked when Dean was close enough.

“Nah, man, go right ahead.” He continued with his cleaning, wondering if the guy had nowhere to go, was trying to avoid the place he had to go or was just enjoying Dean’s company.

They made small talk a few more minutes while Dean cleaned up around the bar, then he had to go take care of Earl’s table. While he was doing that, the last straggler - besides Castiel - made his way out the door, so Dean walked over and dealt with his table, too. When he got back to the bar, Cas was standing up, hand in his pocket.

“I shouldn’t keep you. I’ll go so you can lock up,” he said when Dean walked past him to get back behind the bar.

“Man, the bar is supposed to be open for another 45 minutes. I can’t close earlier than 30 minutes from now, anyway. Stay. Relax.” He didn’t want him to go, but the guy just as obviously didn’t want to. He thought about the woman who had come to get Cas last time he was here. “I mean, unless your wife is gonna wonder where you are and come looking for you again.”

Castiel squinted at him in confusion. “My wife? I don’t have a - “ Understanding dawned on his face. “Oh! That was my...business associate. I’m not married.”

“Oh, well, cool. I’m gonna go grab the broom. You want anything before I go?”

Cas shook his head and sipped a drink that was mostly melted ice by now. Dean headed off to grab all the floor cleaning supplies. He did a sweep of the whole floor and then mopped everywhere that Cas wouldn’t need to walk when he left or if he needed the bathroom. He left the bucket by the bathroom door.

Dean walked behind the bar and tapped himself a glass of the porter. He dug some cash out of his pocket for it and put it in the register. He normally didn’t drink during business hours, but he felt like he could make an exception tonight.

“You mind if I sit with you?”

Castiel smiled. “Not at all.”

Dean perched on the stool to Castiel’s left, accidentally bumping their knees together. He hastily pulled his away. He took a long sip of his beer and turned slightly to face the dark haired man.

“So, these rough past few weeks, I’m guessing, job related?”

Cas hesitated, then nodded. “Someone screwed up and people got hurt.” He scratched his face with his hand, making a rasping sound. “I can’t say anything more specific than that, but I will tell you it’s making me question my career choices.” He gave Dean a rueful smile before sipping his drink again.

“You could always become a bartender,” Dean said, winking. It startled a laugh out of Cas and Dean felt his insides warming. He told himself it was just the beer. He took another big swig to prove it.

“I couldn’t take all the unwanted flirtation.” He took a sip of his nearly empty drink. “You seem to handle it very well, but I would end up offending people.” He laughed again.

“Yeah. Well, it’s just as bad when the ones you want to flirt with you, don’t.” This was why Dean didn’t drink during business hours. He said dumb shit to customers. Dammit.

Fortunately, Castiel seemed not to have heard him, let alone have any idea that Dean was referring to _him_. He didn’t reply, he just asked, “Why does Earl have his own jar?”

Dean laughed, surprised Cas had noticed and thrown by the unexpected segue. “He’s been coming here for years. We like Earl a lot. He, uh, his story is pretty tragic, though. He lost his family and business and everything in one night and he’s never been the same. He basically lives here half the time.”

Dean rolled his glass between his palms. “So, the longer he drinks, the less likely he is to actually hit the tip jar. And then he started forgetting to bring enough cash with him, so we’d just put it on a tab, but he didn’t like that. Boss didn’t, either, since Earl didn’t give us a credit card or anything. Anyway, long story short, we started putting his misses into his own jar, so he always has cash for his drinks.”

Cas was smiling warmly at him by the time he was done. “Here,” he said, pulling a bill from his wallet. “Add this to Earl’s jar.”

Dean grinned at him, pleased. “Thanks, Cas. That’s awesome.” He took the $20 Cas held out and walked it down to Earl’s jar so he wouldn’t forget. Then he took up his seat next to Castiel again.

“Do you often have patrons that you wish would flirt with you?”

Dean looked up in surprise, having thought Cas hadn’t really been paying attention to that. Dean took another long swig of his beer, nearly finishing it. “No, not often.”

“You seem like the type who would flirt first, in that situation, rather than waiting for someone else to flirt with you.”

“Yeah, well, I do, but people just figure, oh, I’m a bartender, I’m just angling for a better tip.” Dean shrugged and finished his beer. “Just like when most girls flirt with me, I naturally assume they’re hoping for free drinks. Never works for them, though.”

Castiel threw him a smile as he pushed his empty glass away. “You could always try giving a free drink to the people you want to flirt with you, do it in reverse.”

Dean grabbed their empties and stood up. “Didn’t work with you,” he said, lowering his voice suggestively and winking. He walked around the counter to put the dishes in the tub. He hadn’t looked at Cas since he winked, not wanting him to see the truth in his eyes. “You want another water or you good?”

When he turned his eyes back to Cas, the guy was staring at the bar, looking a little bit freaked out. Dean opened his mouth to apologize, but Castiel said, “No, thank you. I’ll be right back,” getting up and hurrying away.

“Shit,” Dean said aloud in the empty bar. He walked over to the pool table to dust it off and make sure all the chalk and sticks were back where they went. He decided to shoot a quick game of nine ball with himself. It would give him something to be doing when Cas came back.

He’d made the break and sunk four balls by the time Castiel exited the men’s room across from him. To his surprise, the man came over to watch him. Dean told himself he wasn’t showing off, but ok, yeah, by himself, he probably wouldn’t have tried his trick shot and sunk 3 more balls at once. He smiled to himself when he saw Castiel’s eyes widen. The last two balls were easy work and he put away everything in its proper place.

“I’ve never played. It looks enjoyable.”

“You’ve never played pool?” Castiel shook his head. “You wanna give it a try?”

“Aren’t you closing soon?”

“I don’t _have_ to close for another 25 minutes. And anyway, the boss doesn’t mind if play pool after hours as long as I clean everything up afterward, so that’s not really an issue.”

“O-okay. If you don’t mind teaching me?”

“Nah, I love this game. Showing people how to play is fun for me.” He grinned to show he meant it.

Dean wracked it up for 9 Ball again, figuring that would be the easiest for a beginner. Then he explained the basic rules, and demonstrating for Castiel the fundamentals of holding and using the pool cue.

He opted to break, since Castiel never had before. He thought he might learn best by example. Then he sank three balls, but deliberately missed on the fourth, giving Castiel ball in hand. Castiel picked up the cue, but he was clearly having trouble figuring out how to move it like Dean had.

“Here, Cas, let me show you.” He stepped up behind him, trying not to actually press up against him with his body any more than absolutely necessary. “Ok, now bend your hand like this, see? You want the cue to slide right through it.”

Not pressing against Castiel was working really well until Dean told him to bend over to try to make the shot. Dean didn’t step back fast enough and the guy’s ass ground right into his crotch. Castiel hastily stood back up, but that only meant Dean’s chest was now flat against his back.

They stood like that for several awkward seconds before Castiel turned his face to the side and whispered, “I don’t know how to flirt or I would have.”

Suddenly, Dean’s every nerve ending seemed to be flashing from hot to cold and back all at once. Being this close to the man was bad enough, but to hear that sexy ass voice whispering words that said Cas liked him, too? It was too much. Dean felt all the longing he’d been holding back surge forward. He turned Cas gently around to face him and leaned down within an inch of his face, breath ghosting over his face.

“What about kissing, Cas? Do you know how to do that?” He didn’t give Castiel the chance to respond before he brought their mouths together. He felt like a lightning storm had blown up between them at the contact.

Cas’ hands came up and clutched at his shirt and Dean pulled back to look at him. Those blue eyes opened slowly, looking dazed. Dean smiled seductively and leaned back in for another kiss. This time, he slid his tongue against Castiel’s lips until he gained admittance. Cas returned the gesture, but his movements were hesitant, shy and awkward. Then suddenly, he was pulling away.

“I can’t...I don’t...I’ve got to go, Dean. I’m sorry.” With that, he fled from the bar, gone before a kiss-addled Dean could process what had happened and react.

“What the _fuck_?” Dean asked an empty bar. “Son of a _bitch_!” He picked up a pool ball and would have hurled it, but thankfully he noted that by the clock he was now allowed to close. He hurried to do that instead, starting by closing the blinds on the windows and doors. He finished the clean up in a foul mood.

When he got outside, he turned to lock the door and found a note taped to the glass with his name on it.

_Dean-_

_I want to, but I can’t._

_Not yet, anyway._

_I will be back._

_Hopefully in a few days._

_Please don’t hate me._

_-Cas_

 

________


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date is made.

* * *

It wasn’t a few days. It was nearly two weeks before Dean saw Cas again. And the chicken shit bastard didn’t even sit at the bar. He came in, caught Dean’s eye and looked like he was headed for his seat near the bar door. Instead, he walked past the bar to a table in the corner. To be fair, the bar was packed and the only stool not taken was that one, so it was possible he hadn’t seen it.

Dean wasn’t going to waste time wondering. He stalked over to the table, watching those blue eyes go wider the closer he got to them. “Maybe you couldn’t see that your stool at the bar is free? You want a drink, you come sit with me. Otherwise, you just go ahead and go coz I’m not serving you.”

Dean turned on his heel and walked back to the bar without checking to see if Cas was following until he was back behind his station. The table was empty, which pleased him until he realized Cas was not on the floor between the table and the stool, either. Dean quickly scanned to his right and saw Cas’ back heading for the door, trench coat flapping in his hurry to make his exit.

 _Shit_. Dean wondered if ultimatums ever worked for anyone. They always seemed to work in movies and on tv, but he’d never had much luck. Why he kept trying them, he didn’t know. His mood was now completely shit. He’d already been mad at Cas. Now he was pissed at himself, as well. What if Cas never came back because he thought Dean _did_ hate him? _Shit._

* * *

This time, it was less than a week before Cas came back in. Dean didn’t even notice him until he was sitting down - at the stool on the end of the bar, Dean saw with some satisfaction - because a busty Asian beauty was shamelessly flirting with him, either because she was already tipsy or just in hopes of scoring a free drink. When he saw Cas, Dean briefly considered giving her a free drink and making it obvious, just to lash out at Cas.

Then he remembered how well lashing out at Cas had worked last time and he reined in his bitterness. The guy had come back and he’d sat at the bar. It was an effort and Dean was going to give him the credit that deserved. It was pretty brave, after all.

“What can I get for you?” He kept his face neutral. The bar wasn’t as crowded as the last time he’d seen Cas, but there were still a couple of people nearby. Damned if those blue eyes weren’t already getting to him, though. They held a puppy dog look to rival Sam’s and Dean was losing the fight against them.

Cas frowned and ran a hand through his already hopeless hair, making it even more unruly. “Is there a drink that you always hope no one orders because you know you’re not that great at it, even though you want to be?”

Somehow, Dean didn’t think they were talking about drinks, but he answered, “A blue blazer.”

“Why don’t you like to make it?”

Dean sighed, running a hand through his own hair. He looked around to make sure no one needed a drink. “You light it on fire and pour it back and forth between two glasses. No matter what, I can never get the fire right. It just doesn’t work when I try it.”

Cas nodded, looking around. Then he made direct eye contact and asked, “When the bar closes tonight, will you make me one of those?”

Dean understood. It was a test, of sorts. Dean shrugged. “I could. Or I could stand up here and do it right now.” He started grabbing what he needed. Before he started mixing, he leaned toward Cas and said, “But just so you know, there was no pressure on you. All you had to do was say the word and I’d have stopped.”

He hit the spigot for the boiling water and poured it into the mug with the whiskey. Then he walked to the candle on the back of the bar and lit a match with it, touching it to the whiskey. He started pouring back and forth between mugs. Blue flame arced between the two glasses, but it wasn’t continuous like it was meant to be. It gathered quite a bit of attention, but most lost interest when the flames sputtered out and died.

He poured it into a small tumbler, adding the sugar and the curl of lemon peel, and plunking it down in front of Cas without meeting his eyes. “One blue blazer, as requested.” He walked toward some girls who had come up for fresh drinks and took their orders.

When he was done, Cas waved him down. To Dean’s surprise, his glass was already empty. “How was it?”

“It was delicious, actually. What drink are you best at?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Dean said, sliding back into flirty bartender mode. “A Blowjob Shot followed by a Screaming Orgasm on the rocks.” This was followed with an open-mouthed, tongue between the lips grin and a wink. Before Cas could respond, someone was calling out for service.

Dean made a couple of fruity drinks, adding a little extra flair than he normally would have and shooting looks at Cas from the corner of his eye. The bartender’s mood was bouncing back. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he knew it had to do with those Angel Eyes down at the end of the bar. Whatever the reason, he was gonna roll with it. He handed the happy women their drinks and was rewarded with a handsome tip. He ignored the phone number on the bill one of them passed him.

He checked on other patrons seated at the bar and got everyone topped off before making his way back down to Cas. Dean popped his eyebrows at him when he finally reached him. “So, what’ll it be?”

“I’ll take the...two you mentioned.”

Dean bit his lip, contemplating whether to make Cas say the names. He tried to school his face into a mask of confused innocence, as he said, “Which ones were they again?” At Cas’ squinting frown, however, Dean broke out into a grin. Then he leaned over the bar and in a low voice said, “One blowjob and the best orgasm you’ve ever had coming up.” As he stood back up, he was gratified to see Cas blush.

He made the drinks and walked back down to Cas. “Is this your first blowjob?” He asked with a wink. Cas scowled at him, but he was still blushing. Dean relented. “Ok, the way this one works is, you’ve got to shoot it, but you can’t use your hands.” As Cas understood what that meant, his blush deepened and he couldn’t look Dean in the eye. Dean sort of felt bad, so he said, in a quieter voice, “You don’t have to, Cas. Just pick it up and drink it, if you want.”

Cas evidently felt like rising to the challenge, whether to prove something to himself or to Dean, the bartender didn’t know. Either way, he bent down over the shot glass and wrapped his full lips around the rim. He made eye contact with Dean as he raised his head, one eyebrow cocked. Dean sort of mimed the action for shooting. Cas imitated him, snapping his head back and downing the drink in one go.

Dean popped his eyebrows and smirked at him. “Sure didn’t seem like your first time. Not bad, Angel Eyes, not bad.” Realizing what he had said, it was Dean’s turn to be flustered, especially since that squinty head tilting look was pointed at him. “As with any good blowjob, you’ve got to finish with an orgasm. This one you just sit back and enjoy,” he said with a half smile.

Two more girls walked up then. “Hey, did I see that guy take a blowjob shot?” one asked. Her friend asked something Dean couldn’t hear. “Oh, man, they are good, we’re getting them, trust me,” the first girl said over her shoulder before turning back to Dean. “We’ll take two each.”

He made them and lined them up on the bar, expecting the girls to leave.

“You wanna just shoot them here?” Her friend shrugged. “Ok, I’ll shoot mine first and then you just do what I did, ok?” Dean was only half paying attention and she had lowered her voice, but he still heard her say something like “Never seen a _guy_ do one before.” She tipped hers back successfully, but with far less finesse than Cas had accomplished. Her friend ended up with half hers on her face.

“I actually bet him five bucks he couldn’t do it. And he proved me wrong. Looks like I shoulda bet against your friend there instead.” He smiled and winked when he said it, handing the one girl a handful of napkins, but in truth he was a little pissed off by the mean girl judgmental tone of her voice.

Her friend spoke this time, making him feel better. “Dude, who _wouldn’t_ wanna drink these? These are awesome!” She dove toward the bar to get her second one, this time making it all the way back without spilling.

“Nice,” he told her, this time with a genuine smile. The first girl, obviously giving up on trying to impress anyone, just picked her second one up with her hands and drank it like a normal shot. They paid and dropped the change in his jar before walking away.

He walked down to check on Cas, after making sure everyone else was good first. He didn’t wanna be seen as playing favorites, even though he obviously was.

“So, how’s your Screaming Orgasm?”

“Mmmm,” Cas said around another sip. “Fantastic.” He licked his lips and Dean felt his pulse ratchet up slightly. “Not a drink I would want all the time, but definitely a treat to reward myself with.” He took another sip. “Is the kitchen still open?”

“Uh, yeah, you’re gonna eat?” This was definitely unusual behavior.

“I think so. God, this is good. The first one was, too.”

Dean couldn’t help himself. He lowered his voice and got into Cas’ personal space as he grabbed a menu from the box next to him. “Yeah, I’ve been told my blowjobs and orgasms are the best.” Cas spluttered into his glass and ended up with Screaming Orgasm on his face - and if that wasn’t hot and dirty, Dean didn’t know what was. He handed Cas a napkin and said, “Sorry,” but his cocky smirk said otherwise.

“Well, these are my first, so I will have to take your word for it.” Something about the way he wasn’t looking at Dean made him think maybe this wasn’t about drinks again. But surely...no, no way was the guy…was he? Was that possible?

Before Dean had a chance to respond, the same two girls were back, this time with two guys. The quiet friend was evidently less quiet after a couple of shots of liqueur because she was the one who came up to the bar this time and spoke.

“I convinced them to try blow jobs.”

“Oh?” Dean said, huffing out a laugh.

“Yeah, I said if that if that super hot guy could do it and still look manly, then so could they.” She shrugged. “Two each, please!” She leaned forward and stage whispered, “Be gentle with them, though. It’s their first time.”

Dean belly laughed, taken aback by her unexpected sense of humor. “8 Blowjobs coming up,” he said, shaking his head. “4 extra gentle,” he added with a wink to her. He lined the shot glasses up and poured them one after the other. To the middle four glasses - where the guys were standing - he perversely added a little extra whipped cream on top. If the guys complained, he planned to lie and say those were for the girls.

When he was done, he stepped back, watching the goings on with half an eye while he checked on customers around the bar. He saw that Cas had flagged down the waitress and was presumably ordering some food, so he didn’t bother him about a drink right now. When he looked again, one of the couples was kissing whipped cream off each other.

He chuckled and went to grab a tub of tasks to work on. As he turned, he saw that Cas was watching the couple and flicking glances at him. He was licking his lips and looking nervous. Dean pulled the tub out and set it on the bar without saying anything.

“Did you want something else to drink?” It was silverware folding again.

“I think I’d better swap to sparkling water now.”

Dean finished the napkin he was working on and set it down. “Coming up.” He started away then turned back. “Oh, by the way, that girl said you were ‘super hot’ and ‘manly’, just so you know.” He winked. “She’s got good taste, I’ll give her that.” With that he was off to get water and refill some other people’s drinks.

When he got back with the sparkling water, Sarah had just dropped off Cas’ burger and fries. People had steadily been thinning out around the bar itself for a while now, but the rest of the place was still pretty packed. He saw that the pool table was crowded and spotted a drink sitting on the edge of the felt, precariously close to getting spilled all over the table. He waved at Sarah to take care of it.

Dean returned to his napkin rolling until he heard a commotion back over near the pool table. He looked up to see a man, presumably the one whose drink had been about to spill on the bar, harassing Sarah. He stepped out and stomped over to the guy, stepping between him and the waitress. He stretched up, using his full height to dominate over the guy.

“You got a problem?” Dean asked in a low voice.

“This bitch - “ the guy started, but Dean didn’t let him finish.

“Hey! _My friend_ Sarah asked you to take your drink off the pool table because if it spills, I am going to charge you the $300 for the re-felting fee. So if you got a problem with a _bitch_ , I guess that’d be _me_.” He kept his voice low and even and his eyes never wavered.

They were having a staring contest Dean didn’t intend to lose, but one of the guys smarter friends said, “Gordon, man, just move your drink. I don’t wanna get tossed out of here in the middle of a game, dude.”

Other companions spoke up to second the motion.

“Finish your drinks and finish your game. Then, I want you out. And if I see you harassing my friend again, I’m calling the cops, got it?”

Dean stalked back to the bar after checking to see if Sarah had gone back to her normal duties. She was used to the occasional tough customer, so she had shrugged it off and walked away during their conversation. As he passed through the door, he noticed that Cas was still watching the guys at the pool table, but his plate was empty.

Dean started back on his napkins. More people were beginning to leave the bar now. He hoped the rest of the night would be quiet. Then he heard Ellen saying something that didn’t sound friendly. Before he could react, he saw a flash of tan and Cas was bending Gordon over the pull table, yanking his hands up and into cuffs.

It was eleven and a half kinds of hot, but Dean didn’t have time to do much more than acknowledge that thought before questions were flooding his brain. Why did Cas have cuffs? Was he a cop? Why did he keep his job a secret? Was he undercover? What was going on?

Gordon’s shouting interrupted his thoughts. “You can’t hold me! I ain’t done nothin’!”

“Harassment, drunk and disorderly, and you shoved Ellen, so there’s assault. You want me to think of some others I am sure I can do that for you. On the other hand, if you want to be smart for once and just keep your mouth shut, I’m sure we’d all appreciate the reprieve from your macho bullshit.” Gordon apparently chose option B because he stopped talking.

Cas told Gordon not to move and then made a phone call the Dean couldn’t hear. A big group came up to the bar wanting drinks, so he missed anything that happened after that, until two uniforms showed up at the front of the bar. Cas spoke to them privately for a minute or so and then walked them over to Gordon. They cuffed him with one of their own pairs and gave Castiel his pair back as they read Gordon his rights.

The uniforms left with Gordon and his friends soon followed. The one who had urged the guy to move his drink and be cool mumbled a sorry to Dean as he passed, as well as another to Sarah, for which Dean gave him more points. As Cas was taking his seat again, Ellen stormed up and took a rare seat at the bar, which she had only done once or twice in his recollection.

“I’ll take a scotch, boy. Neat.” She slapped a bill on the table.

“Sure thing, Ellen. You want change for the machine?”

“Nah, I’m all right.”

“Are you?” he asked, looking at her with concern.

Her eyes softened. “Yes, honey. I’m fine. Little shaken is all. Been a long time since some hammerhead gave me trouble. I’ll be fine once I get that drink, sugar.”

Dean slid it to her. “Long as you’re ok.”

“Old Blue Eyes over there took care of that,” she replied, tipping her head and raising her glass in Cas’ direction. She lowered her head and motioned for Dean to come closer. When he did, she whispered, “I think he’s sweet on you, too, by the way. I know you like him and you could certainly do worse than a cop.”

Dean ogled in surprise, afraid one or both of them had been obvious and indiscreet, but before he could respond, she reassured him. “Don’t you worry. No one else pays attention. I’ve just been around - and been around _you_ \- a long time. I see things other people miss.” She winked and downed the rest of her scotch, swiveling away from the bar on her stool. She put down her glass and left her change sitting there as she walked away and out the door.

Dean made his way back down to where Castiel was. “So, you actually a cop or do you just keep handcuffs in your coat pocket?” He grinned to let Cas know Dean was mostly teasing and Cas didn’t really have to answer. “You want another drink? On the house.”

“Actually, I should probably go,” Cas said, clearly expecting Dean to be upset.

“Ok,” Dean said, swallowing back his disappointment and, he hoped, hiding it behind a half smile. “Good to see you again, anyway.” He started to turn away before anything showed on his face.

“Dean, wait.” Dean stopped, but only partly turned his face to Cas. “Could I...could I come back at closing?”

Dean turned around fully then, still trying to keep his emotions off his face. He was pretty sure his smile broke through, though, when he said, “Yeah, man, absolutely. Um, get here 15 minutes before close? That way, if nobody else is here, I can go ahead and close up.”

Cas smiled shyly and nodded. “I’ll see you soon, Dean.”

For the rest of the night, Dean was in a nervous daze. He didn’t know why he felt so fluttery. It wasn’t like this was a date. Cas was coming back, sure, when Dean was alone, but they’d already had a kiss and that hadn’t gone so well. It was better not to get his hopes up. No matter what he told himself, though, he couldn’t help that heart pounding anticipation, like a buzz under his skin. It _felt_ like a date.

Well, as best as he could recall anyway. He really didn’t remember the last time he’d gone on an actual date. Years ago, that was all he knew. But he remembered this feeling. This “someone likes me enough to want to spend time alone with me and who knows what could happen when we get together” feeling.

When Cas had left, there’d been less than 3 hours till closing. Somehow, with him gone, though, time seemed to stand still. There was no one to serve and the minutes dragged on and on. Then, suddenly, it was 45 minutes to close and everyone wanted to get a jump on last call all at once and time was going triple speed. By the time he got everyone served and cleaned up as much as he could, it was time for Cas to be there.

Time slowed down again. His heart raced. He refused to watch the door, so everytime it opened, his head flew around, but it was always just someone leaving. Then everyone was gone. It was five minutes to close and still no Cas. Dean rushed around, cleaning everything. He was starting to get a sick feeling in his chest.

He pulled the blinds, then went over and worked on the pool table. Gordon and his crew had gotten it covered in dust and fuzz somehow and it took him twice as long as it normally did. By the time he was finished, it was a couple of minutes after 2. After closing time. And Cas was still not there.

Dean walked over and locked the door, flipping the sign. Then he headed back to turn off the lights. He grabbed his things from the back room, now so depressed it felt like the skin of his face was weighted with it. He wearily made his way back to the front door and stepped outside, setting the alarm and relocking the door.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drive and some time under the stars.

* * *

Just as he turned to walk toward his car, he heard his name and whipped around.

“Dean!” It was Cas, heading toward him from across the street. Dean waited until he crossed, without speaking, not knowing what to say. “Dean, I’m sorry, I got held up. I didn’t have your number and I thought I could get here, so I didn’t try the bar phone, but then the cab took a wrong - “

“It’s ok, Cas. I’m glad you made it.” He looked at the bar uncertainly, then back at Cas. “Did you, uh, wanna go back inside? Or we could take a drive in my car, if you want.”

Cas looked nervously back and forth between Dean and the building. "Where would we drive to?"

"Uh, well, we could just...drive around a while. There's this place I go sometimes, though. I don't know if you'd like it or not, but it's this hill overlooking the city?" He looked at Cas questioningly.

"Seems like that would be a popular hang out spot, even late like this."

"Well, it might be, if anybody else knew it was there or had access to it." Dean rubbed his hand across his neck, debating what to say next. "It's...my family owns the land it's on."

Cas stared into the distance for a minute, weighing his options. He was frowning and, Dean thought, looking cornered.

"Look man, I get it. You like to rabbit when you feel like it and you're scared to be stuck in a car with me. We can go back inside. I only suggested the drive because you seemed so nervous about the...kiss...the other night and if I'm driving, you know I gotta keep my hands to myself."

Cas chewed his lip. "You seem to understand me pretty well for someone who doesn't actually know anything about my life. How is that possible?"

"I don't know, man. I think maybe you and I are a lot more alike than you might think."

Cas pondered that for a while, looking around. Finally, he nodded. "If we go for a drive, will you teach me more about pool some other time?"

Dean laughed, feeling hopeful and excited again. "Does that mean that you're gonna keep hanging out with me? Coz I gotta say, if you stick around, I'll teach you whatever you want me to show you."

Cas smiled shyly. "Let's take a drive, Dean."

Dean grinned. "Awesome. Come on my car's back this way." Dean led him over to his shiny black Impala and unlocked the passenger door. For kicks, he also opened the door and held it until Castiel, rolling his eyes the whole time, got inside.

Dean walked around and hopped in the driver's side, which Cas had unlocked for him. Bonus points for Angel Eyes there. He turned off the stereo when the strains of Air Supply came through the speakers.

He drove out onto the street and they rode into the night, the silence between them comfortable. He occasionally snuck glances at Cas. Every time he did he caught Cas glancing back and both men smiled.

After a few miles, Dean decided he felt like talking, so he asked, "So what _can_ you tell me about yourself, Castiel? Likes, dislikes, stuff like that."

"You seem very nonchalant about all the things I can't talk about, Dean."

Dean shrugged. "You're who you are, Cas. If it wasn't a big deal for you to keep certain things a secret, I'm sure you would tell me, but obviously it is. I wanna learn about _you_ , the person. I can find out everything I need to know without pushing you on topics you can't or don't wanna talk about." Dean chewed his lip. "Believe me, I get the whole not wanting to talk about it concept."

“Ok, so what do you wanna know?”

“I don’t know, uh, you wanna tell me about your brothers? The ones you like, I mean.”

“Ha! Now there’s a topic of conversation that is likely to surprise you.” He settled more comfortably into the seat. “Let’s see, um, I’m the youngest of all my siblings. The ones I get along with are Balthazar and Gabriel.  Baltie is…” Cas actually kind of giggled and Dean could not help thinking it was the most adorable thing he’d ever heard. “Well, there’s no good way to say this. He’s a gigolo. He finds rich women and he offers them romance and sexual favors in exchange for a global jet-setting lifestyle.”

“Man, what are the ones you don’t get along with like?” Dean asked, smiling.

Cas was more serious when he responded, “You don’t want to know. But at heart, Baltie’s a good man. He doesn’t lie to the women about himself. They always part amicably. Well, except once, but I don’t think that was really his fault.”

“All right, so tell me about Gabriel.”

“Uh, Gabe made...well, he produced and starred in a string of highly successful, um, adult films.”

Cas’ voice had been very quiet when he spoke and Dean’s explosion of laughter seemed extremely loud in comparison, but he couldn’t help it. Here was Cas, scared to be kissed - maybe even a virgin - and his two favorite brothers were the international playboy and the porn star. It was too much. It took him a couple of minutes to calm down. Cas looked somewhat uncomfortable and somewhat pleased that Dean was laughing.

“Cas, that is...man, that is fantastic. If I had been given infinite guesses, I never would have come up with those two as part of your life history.” Dean rubbed his stomach. “All right, I guess it’s my turn. Ask me a question, if there’s something you wanna know about me.”

Cas barely hesitated. “Why did you call me Angel Eyes?”

Dean glanced over, but Cas wasn’t looking at him. “That was, um, my name for you.” He licked his lips. “Like, before you finally introduced yourself. In my head, I called you Angel Eyes coz, you know…” He shrugged without elaborating.

Cas looked at him then, obviously confused. “No, I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Cas, come on, man. You’re killing me here.” He ran an agitated hand through his hair. “No, you know what? I answered your first question. I’m not telling you the rest until you answer another question.”

Cas stared at him for a moment, still confused, but just said, “Ok. Ask your question.”

Dean debated whether or not to ask the question that had been on his mind for weeks now. He looked in all his mirrors, out all the windows, anywhere but at Cas. The streets were deserted and they were moving out toward the country, so he didn’t have to pay strict attention to the road. He tried to ask and his voice came out a squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again.

“So, did you not, uh, like it, when, uh, when I kissed you?” Dean’s heart felt like it was in his throat. He didn’t know what Cas’ answer might be.

“Shit,” was all Cas replied after a minute or two of total silence. “Now would be one of those times I wish I could...what was it you called it? Rabbit?” Cas wrapped his arms around his stomach, protectively.

“Cas, look, you don’t - “

“No, Dean, I “rabbited” already when you kissed me and you deserve some kind of answer why.” He sighed heavily, ending on a groan. “Look, what I am about to tell you is incredibly embarrassing for me, Dean. Gabe is the only other person who knows. I’ve kept it secret even from Baltie.” He wiped a hand down his face and stared out the window, head turned away from Dean. “I don’t have the same kind of sex drive as most other people, Dean. I never have, not even during puberty.”

He groaned again in frustration. “I haven’t even answered your question, which is probably the only part of this you care about. Yes, Dean. I liked it when you kissed me.”

“Hey, gimme some credit, man. Yeah, I’m glad to hear you liked it, but I wanna hear the rest, too. I still would have, even if you hadn’t liked it.”

Cas looked at him, disbelief and something that didn’t quite dare to be hope showing on his face, even in the dim light. He took a deep breath. “You’re only the second person I’ve ever kissed.” He ducked his head, clearly waiting for some kind of negative reaction from Dean.

Instead, Dean reached out in the dark and found Castiel’s hand and took it, squeezing gently until he looked up. “Cas, I don’t know what you think I’m gonna say, but I gotta tell you, I feel pretty fucking lucky that you let me kiss you. If I’d had any idea, I would have gone slower, I just - “

“No, you didn’t rush me, Dean. I wanted to kiss you. I could have stopped you if I didn’t.”

Dean smiled, squeezing Cas’ hand a little tighter. “Oh, I know you could’ve. I saw the way you manhandled that Gordon guy. It was pretty badass.”

“Are you always this...understanding?”

“Uh...I don’t know. I guess? I mean, from where I’m sitting, I feel like I just heard you say that in your whole life, I am only the second person you thought was interesting enough to lock lips with. And I think that’s pretty fucking sweet. Not sure if that makes me understanding - or just cocky.” Dean hoped Cas could see his grin and wink in the dark car.

Cas apparently could because he laughed. Or maybe it was Dean’s words. Either way, he relaxed. He no longer looked drawn in on himself. Dean stroked the back of Castiel’s hand with his thumb.

“Look, Cas. I like you. Not just because I wanna bang you - which, believe me, has crossed my mind.” He saw Castiel’s head whip around in his direction and decided to tease a bit. “A lot. Like, all the time really. Just 24/7 gay porn in my head, really.” He nudged Cas with his hand to let him know he was kidding and was gratified to see Cas shaking his head with a smile on his face, in on the joke. Well, sort of joke. He had thought about it more than he probably should have. The guy was hot.

“Anyway, I like _you_. If you need to take it slow or...whatever. I would just like the chance to, I don’t know, get to know you is all. Even if that one kiss is all we ever get before you decide you don’t want this. Just gimme a chance, ok?”

Dean turned down a gravel road, pressing a button on his visor to open the gate that was set a little ways back from the main road. Cas sat up straighter in his seat.

“Are we almost there now, Dean?” he asked, peering into the dark.

“Yeah, man, just a couple minutes, maybe.”

Cas looked out the window without speaking. Then he whispered something Dean wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear, but he did - barely. Cas had said, “I like you, too, Dean.”

“I’m glad, Cas.” Dean spoke a little louder than Cas, but still softly. The other man shot a look toward him. Apparently Dean was _not_ supposed to have heard that. Oh, well. He wasn’t sorry. He realized they were still holding hands and he squeezed gently as he pulled the car to a stop before letting go.

“We’re here. Let’s go sit on the hood.”

The difference in view between sitting in the car and standing outside it was significant, as Dean well knew. He’d parked where he had on purpose. He enjoyed the sound of Cas’ gasp as he saw the lights below for the first time.

“Pretty great, right?”

“Dean, it’s...wow. I didn’t even realize we were so far out of the city!”

“We aren’t, really. Just luck of the road lay out. I love it here.”

“It’s amazing. Thank you for showing me this.”

“Here, let’s sit.” He hoisted himself onto the Impala’s hood and slid back until his feet could rest comfortably on the bumper.

Cas did the same, albeit with slightly less ease and finesse than Dean had. Dean didn’t mind. He lent a hand when Cas needed it and soon they were situated. They were now only inches apart, but Dean studiously faced the front, not risking being drawn into trying another kiss. He did want something else, though. Something he hoped wasn’t outside Cas’ comfort zone.

“Cas, could I, um, maybe put my arm around you? Would that be too much?” He wasn’t sure if Cas was gonna be comfortable with that or not, but he figured, he needed to ask to find out. He wanted to be close to the guy and for his own sanity, in a way that wasn’t going to lead to him wanting too much more too fast.

The moon was up, so Dean could clearly see when Cas smiled at him. "I think I'd like that, Dean."

Dean smiled back, feeling relieved. He slid his hand around Cas' broad shoulders, placing his hand on the man's bicep and gently stroking before coming to rest on the ball of his shoulder. He didn't try to scoot closer together. He left the small gap between them. Dean wondered if Cas could feel the same electric sensation that Dean could in all the places they were touching.

They sat without speaking for a while, enjoying the touch and the view. Dean liked that they could sit quietly without it feeling weird. He realized Cas smelled really nice, but he pushed thoughts like that away, along with thoughts of how warm the guy’s skin was and how firm the muscles were under his sleeve.

After a while, Cas said, "This is nice."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "Really nice." He debated internally for  a few minutes before he finally told Cas, "I called you Angel Eyes because it felt like your eyes saw right into me and because you looked...otherworldly.” He felt a little exposed now, like he’d shown Cas a piece of his inner thoughts, but he kept going. “You know, like, beautiful, but...untouchable, I guess."

Cas didn't say anything, but he smiled and then haltingly slid his hand around Dean's waist, settling his hand on his hip. Dean squeezed his shoulder in response.”I’m not untouchable, Dean. I can see why you’d think that. I just…” He sighed heavily, drawing back a little from Dean so that he could look up at him. “I am not averse to touching, Dean. I am unused to it, but I’m not against it. Kissing you was...overwhelming. I was not prepared for what I felt.”

Dean frowned slightly, thinking over what Cas had said earlier, piecing it all together and trying to work through it. “So, when you say your sex drive isn’t like other people’s, what you actually mean is that, you don’t really have one?”

“Yes. Or, well, at least, I never did before.”

Cas took his arm back and turned to face Dean, pulling off his shoes and drawing his legs up toward him. He set the shoes on the hood, upside down so they wouldn’t scuff and Dean thought, _Marry me_ , trying not to laugh to himself. Anyone who took care of Baby was worth keeping around, in his opinion.

“The person I kissed before, Dean, that was an experiment. More of a “maybe I can only get turned on by actual physical touch” sort of thing. A hypothesis, by the way, which turned out to be false, as I felt nothing at all.”

“So, all this time, you’ve never been turned on by anything at all? You’ve never experienced any sexual feelings whatsoever before?”

“Sometimes, I will wake up with an erection. And sometimes I’ve had to...take care of it - and that’s been enjoyable. But as far as looking at a person or pornography or touching a person and feeling any sort of stirring? No. Not…” He ducked his head. “Not until you. And after all this time of thinking I just couldn’t feel that way, I was not prepared.”

Dean couldn’t process his own singularity just yet. Instead, he asked, “Ok, but what about just romance and relationships? Have you gotten emotionally attached to people?” Unable to resist, Dean reached out and wrapped a hand around Cas’ ankle, needing to touch.

Cas smiled down at his hand. “I have occasionally felt that, yes. Normally, I extricate myself from the situation. In the past, I didn’t, and people got hurt. Even though there are plenty of people who are willing to hold off on sex or even say they can live without it, in my experience, most think that kissing should still be allowed.”

Dean thought he understood what Cas was getting at. “But kissing someone you’re not into, that’s gotta suck pretty bad. Actually, I’ve done it. It is bad. You’d tried it before and you knew it wasn’t something you wanted to duplicate.”

“And the person I was with got hurt and lashed out at me and...it did not end well. I’ve mostly avoided any sort of entanglement since then.”

Dean slid up higher on the hood, so that he could lean back against the windshield. Instead of the city, he watched the stars now. He wasn’t sure how to compute everything Cas was telling him. He had never been anyone’s first anything, as far as he knew. It was daunting. At the same time, it made him feel incredibly special. He’d never really felt like that before, either. He supposed maybe Cas was giving Dean some firsts, too.

After a couple of minutes, Cas slid up next to him. They weren’t touching, but that whole side of Dean still felt like it was statically charged. He sat up a little and looked at Cas. “Hey, um, if you wanna use my shoulder as a pillow, you, uh, you can.” He wasn’t sure if he was pushing too much, but Cas had said he wasn’t averse to touching and Dean had already realized he needed to ask for the things he wanted - for his own sake as well as finding out Cas’ limits.

Cas slid over and gingerly put his head down on Dean’s shoulder, but his body was tense. He didn’t seem to know how to hold himself. Dean thought it was more nerves than anything else. He pushed at him gently and waved at him to get up. “Here, lie back and I’ll show you how, ok?”

Cas nodded and lay on his back. Dean slid over and slotted into place next to him, Cas arm under his head, his right arm down the length of Castiel’s side and his left hand resting lightly on Cas’ stomach. His left knee just barely extended over the edge of Cas’ thigh. He didn’t wanna push too far too fast.

He had been showing Cas how to do it. Now he was in position, however, he found he was really content to just lie there. He rarely got to take this position during cuddling and he found he rather liked it. He felt comfortable in a way that went beyond physical. He hoped Cas would feel that way, too, when it was his turn, but he was going to enjoy this for a moment before he let Cas try. Cas’ hand came up and stroked his hair softly and Dean’s eyes closed of their own accord.

“Mmmm, that’s really nice.” He let it continue for a few minutes. Finally he groggily said, “You wanna try now?”

So they swapped positions, so that Cas was curled against his side. Cas knee was bent over his thigh completely, and his hand traced lazy circles on Dean’s chest. Cas was relaxed enough now that he was moving by instinct and Dean couldn’t help thinking that was a good thing, a positive sign. He looked down at Cas’ face in the moonlight and felt an affection he wasn’t that surprised by.

“Cas, I really want to kiss you again.” He rubbed Cas chin between his thumb and forefinger. “If you don’t want to, that’s ok. But if you’re willing to try, I’ll go slow.” He waited for Cas to meet his eyes and then nod.

Dean dipped his head down while pressing Cas’ chin up gently with his finger. He kept eye contact until their lips met. He kept the press gentle, almost immediately pulling back and looking Cas in the eye. Then he dipped in again, repeating the process. Then a third time and a fourth. He loved the feel of Cas’ ample lips, the way the skin felt like silk over the thickness of them.

This time when he pulled back, he searched Cas’ face for any sign of hesitation. He saw none, but still he asked, “Is it ok to keep going? You know, use my, uh…” God, he felt like a teenager.

Cas saved him from continuing by grabbing the back of Dean’s head and pulling him down for another kiss. Dean took that as permission and slid his tongue between Cas’ lips in a tender kiss. He kept his passion in check and instead focused on the affection he felt for Angel Eyes. That was the emotion he tried to convey with his mouth.

His hand stroked Cas face softly, the back of his fingers grazing against slight stubble. Cas’ hand found its way down to Dean’s hip and his thumb dipped under Dean’s shirt. As he traced arcs against Dean’s bare skin, Dean felt desire spark up and he made a small noise of pleasure into Cas’ mouth. Cas’ tongue slid out more as he tried to take control of the kiss.

Dean let him, more or less, but he himself kept his tongue’s movements from getting frenzied. When Cas’ tongue slid all the way into his mouth, however, he couldn’t help sliding his hand down from his face to his ass, fingers kneading into the thick swell of it. He inadvertently pulled Cas’ crotch toward his and to his surprise, he found that Cas was hard.

He’d known Cas said it was different with Dean, but he didn’t realize it was _that_ different. Somehow, instead of making him want to rush ahead, it made Dean want to slow things down even more, to let Cas have a chance to savor all the things he’d never experienced before. He pulled out of the kiss, once again petting Cas’ face gently with his knuckles.

“Dean?” Cas’ asked, dazed eyes still half closed as Dean pulled away from him.

Dean laughed softly. “I think we’ve gone far enough for tonight, Cas.”

“But I don’t want to stop, Dean, I...I like it.”

“Yeah, but I _do_ want to stop,” he said with a smile to let Cas know it wasn’t because it wasn’t good. “I’m glad you liked it. I liked it, too. It was…” He sat up, scratching his whole head with his hand before dropping it to rest on Cas’ shoulder. “If I didn’t know, I’d never have guessed it was only your third time, that’s for sure. Or that you didn’t even like doing it before.”

“So why do you want to stop?” Cas asked, voice higher pitched than normal in his agitated state. “Dean, that's the first time I’ve ever been full-on physically aroused by any sort of touch and - “

“I know, Cas. That’s exactly _why_ I wanted to stop. Because I want you to enjoy this. I want you to take the time to experience all these things you’ve never gotten to feel before. I want to take it slow. I want to show you all the things you’ve missed out on up till now.”

Cas drew his knees up to his chest in a manner Dean could only view as self-protective. “You sound like you’re planning to be in my life for a while, Dean, but you don’t even know me.”

Dean had so much to say to that. He thought about all the possible reactions he could have, all the possible words he could say. He considered making a joke, considered making some glib comment about they could just see where it went. In the end, he decided on the truth.

“Cas, I stopping seeing other people after the second time you walked into my bar.”

Cas literally gaped at him and Dean couldn’t help sarcastically miming his wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression a little bit. “What? Why?” He seemed breathless for some reason.

 _In for a penny_ , Dean thought, swallowing his fear and any instincts toward emotional self-preservation. “Well, for starters, when I went to hand you your drink and you went to take it from me, our fingers bumped into each other. I felt like someone tased me. When our eyes met, that feeling just... _intensified_. I had gotten laid the night before and it wasn’t anywhere near as hot as your stupid finger brushing up against mine while you looked me in the eye.”

A thing which Dean was unable to do at the current moment. He stared down at his fingers where they were twirling the ends of his shirt. He waited for Cas to comment, but he didn’t, so Dean kept talking. “It was like something from a damn movie, man. But I coulda gotten past that. I could have ignored that and gone on with my life as it was and never known the difference.”

He took a deep breath, ready to go out even further onto the limb he was balancing on. “Then we talked. And I felt a connection with you like nothing I’ve ever felt with anybody.” He let his confusion and frustration sound in his voice, which was higher than normal. “I can’t _explain_ it to you, Cas. All I know is that we talked and I felt like we were old friends. On top of the chemistry that zapped me. On top of you being fucking gorgeous and mysterious and all that other crap….”

Dean dimly registered that Cas was smiling at him now. It was soft and fond and not at all confused or freaked out like Dean had half-expected. He almost looked like he was about to laugh. “What’s so funny, Cas?”

“That wasn’t the second time I came in the bar, Dean. That was the third time.”

“Huh? No, it was definitely the second time.”

“No, Dean. It was the third. You just didn’t realize I was there the second time.”

“Ok, smartass, then what happened the second time?”

“I walked in and you were bent over the bar, trying to reach something on the other side, so that you didn’t have to walk all the way around. Seeing you like that got me so turned around I had to go splash water on my face in the men’s room.” He laughed and Dean didn’t think he’d ever get tired of the sound. Then his mouth twisted ruefully. “When I came out, some woman was kissing you. I got so mad I had to leave. I couldn’t even look in your direction again.”

Dean’s burst of laughter echoed through the quiet night. “Oh, Cas. I swear, you should have stayed or at least looked at me. Geez, man, that chick was so drunk...I pushed her off me as soon as she tried to use tongue. Good thing, too because she damn near threw up on my shoes!”

Cas looked hurt, like he thought Dean was laughing at him. So Dean threw his arms around him in an impromptu hug. Cas remained stiff and did not hug back. Dean pulled away until they were face to face again. “I am not laughing at you, Cas. Just so you know, when your, uh, business partner came to get you? I thought she was your girlfriend or wife or something - and I wanted to punch her in the face.”

Cas smiled then and his body relaxed. Dean slid his fingers down Castiel's scruffy jawline and Cas moved his head toward the sensation. "So," Cas began, voice soft. "You're going to be around a while, then?"

The wind picked up and Dean watched as it rifled through Castiel's hair and somehow made it look less messy than before. Half his mouth crooked up in a smile at that. Then he met Cas' eyes. "As long as you'll let me, Cas."

He sat back a little, scratching his head. "I don't do this, man. Feelings and long term and monogamy - I don't do it. It scares the shit out of me. But I've been doing it since before I ever even knew if you were into guys.” He smiled. “So, you gonna stick around a while?”

Cas smiled and nodded. Then he frowned. “Dean, I might not always be able to show up when I’m supposed to. Usually, I’ll know ahead of time if I’m going to be...busy, but...” He paused and Dean stayed quiet, letting him sort it out in his head. “Sometimes we might make plans and I’ll get called away at the last minute and I won’t be able to call you. I will give you my number, but during those times, you probably won’t be able to reach me.”

“Could you text? Like, if you can’t call?” Cas looked dubious. “Not even a full text, even. Just, like, the letter Z. Then I know you can’t make it.”

Cas squinted, considering. He nodded, slowly, “Maybe. Probably, yes.”

Dean didn’t want to ask his next question, but he had to know. “Cas, your job...could you get hurt? Could something happen to you during one of those times you can’t show up.”

Castiel’s face was solemn. “Yes, Dean. It’s always a risk.”

“Is there anyway you can make it so someone can let me know? I don’t mean make me your emergency contact or anything, just, you know, have your emergency contact get in touch with me.”

Cas thought about it for a moment, then slowly shook his head yes. “I will tell my brother to let you know. I’ll give him your phone number.”

Dean smiled teasingly. “I have to give it to you first.”

“Why yes you do, Dean,” Cas replied, smiling back.

They exchanged phone numbers and then went back to kissing for a while, until Dean realized how tired he was getting.

“Man, we better start heading back before I get too tired to drive.”

“Five more minutes,” Cas whined, diving back into the kiss.

Dean couldn’t resist giving in. Ten minutes later, he pulled away again. “Seriously, Cas, we need to go or we’re going to have to sleep in my car.”

Reluctantly, Castiel nodded and sat up. Dean was pleased to note he had to adjust his pants. For a moment, he questioned his decision to take this slow. It would be so easy to take Cas back to his apartment right now. His mind wandered to all the possibilities of that and his own pants grew even more uncomfortable.

“Dean?” Dean snapped back to reality to find that Cas was standing in front of the car, looking concerned.

“Sorry, I was just...thinking about how good it’s gonna be when we stop taking things slow.”

“Hey, it was your idea,” Cas said with a small laugh.

Dean slid off the car and pulled Cas to him, cupping his ass in both hands and pressing their crotches together. Dean took Castiel’s mouth in a rough kiss and Cas let out a tiny cry when Dean bit his lower lip and sucked it into his mouth. Dean could now feel Cas’ heart pounding against his own chest, could see his wide eyes and the shallow breaths he was swallowing around. He ground their cocks together through their pants and he thought for a moment that Cas’ knees weren’t going to support him.

“You really think you’re ready, Cas?” he asked in a deep rumbling whisper. “Want me to stop holding back?” He bit at Cas’ neck and shoulder, dug his fingers into the flesh of his ass cheeks, kneading and spreading them. Cas whimpered and Dean started rolling his hips. “You ready for me to spread you open and sink into you as far as I can go?”

Dean didn’t know whether it was confirmation or denial when Cas’ breath was punched out of him by a sudden orgasm. Whatever it was, Dean didn’t stop the motion of his hips or mouth or hands until Cas was through it. When it was over, Dean growled and kissed him again.

“Fuck, that was hot, Cas.” Dean stepped back and let go. “I’d better get you home before I change my mind.”

They drove back to town holding hands and making plans for their next meeting. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he was this excited. He dropped Castiel in front of an apartment building that Dean suspected was not the one he lived in, but he didn’t watch him in the rearview to find out.Cas could obviously handle his own, so he couldn’t use the excuse he was making sure he got inside ok. If Cas needed to hide where he lived, he needed to hide it and Dean would respect it.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets a Z and then meets Gabriel.

* * *

Over the next several weeks, they fell into a routine of sorts. Nearly every night, Cas would show up at the bar. Most often, it was less than half an hour until closing, but sometimes it was as early as dinner time. Occasionally, he would be waiting by the Impala, having never come inside at all.

They would ride out to the hill in the Impala and hang out. Sometimes on the hood, sometimes in the backseat. Sometimes there was hardly any touching. Sometimes there was hardly anything else. Dean was still trying to take things slow to make sure Castiel got to experience everything, but the guy sure as hell wasn't making it easy. As if his being hot as hell wasn't making it difficult enough, Castiel rarely wanted to stop whenever Dean finally managed to make himself pull away.

Dean just felt strongly that Castiel needed to experience all the angst and hunger of waiting, as much as he needed to get to experience the good stuff. As it was, they'd progressed a little farther each time they'd gotten together. The last time they met, they'd gotten as far as dry humping with their shirts off. Dean felt a little like he was back in high school, but he didn’t mind a bit. He enjoyed introducing Cas to all these new things, enjoyed knowing Cas had never had them with anyone else.

Dean was excited for the next time, when he had decided to see if Cas wanted to move ahead to trying handjobs. Dean had gotten to have an orgasm the last time they’d been together and he was anxious now for more. The things he’d been doing with Cas were more exciting than plenty of the one night stands he’d had and he couldn’t get enough.

The night they agreed to meet, however, he got a text an hour before closing that just said, “Z.” Cas wasn’t coming. Dean tried not to feel rejected, since he knew that meant Cas had something urgent come up with his job, but it was hard not to feel stood up. Mainly, though, he was just very disappointed. No matter what else was happening in his week, the times he saw Cas were always the best parts of it. Even the nights they didn’t touch, when they just talked and laughed and learned about each other, were the best moments of his whole week.

He was a little bit scared of what he thought he was starting to feel. He’d been crazy drawn to Angel Eyes from the beginning, but this was beyond really liking the guy. This was something...more permanent. Something that was taking root inside Dean and connecting him to Cas in a way he might never get rid of. Even if they broke apart, he was sure those roots would remain inside him forever.

For two days he waited for word from Cas, but it didn’t come. He tried to call him, but it always went straight to voicemail. He had been a little bit worried since that letter text had first come through, but now the worry was a constant thing, niggling at the back of his mind all day long. He was considering leaving yet another voicemail when his phone finally rang. Cas’ number was not displayed, so his greeting was gruff and unwelcoming.

“Uh, whatever you’re pissed off about, I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault. My name’s Gabriel. I’m looking for a guy named Dean.”

Gabriel...Gabriel. Why was that name familiar - oh. “You’re Castiel’s brother.” Then the conversation he and Cas had had about if something happened to Cas came back to him and he felt his blood turn to ice water. “Oh, shit. Is he all right?”

“He will be, yeah, but he’s...look, can we meet? I’d rather discuss this in person.”

Dean looked around the empty bar, bathed in afternoon light. “Uh, yeah, I’m at work. Can you come by?” He gave him directions to the bar and then waited impatiently for him to arrive, trying to keep his mind from creating worst case scenarios about what was wrong with Cas.

After 45 minutes of nearly going out of his mind, a shorter man with wavy light brown hair walked through the door and came over to the bar. “You Dean?” he asked and his voice was the same one from the phone. It sounded nothing at all like Cas’ voice.

“Yeah, that’s me. That makes you Gabriel, I guess. You want a drink?”

“Hells yeah. What a shitty day. Gimme a kamikaze, but with limoncello instead of lime juice.”

Dean just stared at him for a second before giving a curt “the customer is always right even if he is weird” nod and turning around to make the drink. He slid it across the bar impatiently.

“Ok, Gabriel so what’s happening with Cas?”

Gabriel quirked an eyebrow at the nickname, but sighed like someone was squeezing the air out of him. “Castiel was working and he got...injured.”

“Injured? Injured how?” He couldn’t keep the panic out of his voice. Even though he’d known that something like this had obviously happened - he wouldn’t be talking to Gabriel otherwise - hearing it out loud made it so much worse.

Gabriel seemed to size him up for a moment before he answered. “Ok, look, I’m supposed to be vague and not give details and all kinds of other stupid BS because of Cassie’s job. But I’m guessing that neither of us would be having this conversation if you weren’t important to him and he wasn’t important to you, right?”

Dean swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Ok, brace yourself, boy-o. Let me reiterate, he is fine - or will be soon. The thing is...Castiel got himself shot.”

Dean had only thought his blood was ice before. His entire body was now frozen. He felt his heart stutter and stop. He felt a subzero fist reached into his chest and spread cold outward. He couldn’t get breath. Cas...shot...he couldn’t deal with that idea.

“Hey, Dean...Hey! Uh, maybe you need to make yourself a drink, huh?”

Dean’s eyes snapped to Gabriel’s. Yes. A drink was what he needed. He poured himself a shot of brandy and downed it, then quickly followed it with another. It melted the ice inside him and poured a bit of calm down his twitching spine.

“He’s...he’s ok, you said. Where was he shot?”

“In the arm. Now, look, you’re not allowed to go and see him. Even I’m only allowed to see him for scheduled, supervised visits,” he added when Dean made it clear he was about to protest. “I’m going back there in just a few minutes. I can give him a message, if you want.”

But Dean was eyeing Gabriel’s phone where it lay on the counter.

“Actually, uh, could you do something else for me? Since we both have iPhones?”

Gabriel looked wary. “Maybe…”

“Can you let him call me from your phone with Facetime? So I can at least see his face, even if I can’t go to the hospital?”

Gabriel’s eyes softened. “Yeah, Dean-o. I think I can do that.”

* * *

As soon as Gabriel had agreed, Dean was on the phone with Ash, asking him to cover the rest of his shift. No way was Dean going to have a Facetime conversation behind the bar. Ash was more than willing and lived nearby, so by the time Gabriel was leaving, so was Dean.

He got his apartment door open just in time for his phone to start ringing, signaling the call. He hit the answer button as he made a beeline for the couch, but he needn’t have worried. Even once the call connected, he could see half of Gabriel and could hear Cas saying he didn’t understand what was happening.

“Geez, Cassie, it’s a video call, not a transmission from NASA,” Dean heard and half saw Gabriel say in exasperation.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said, hoping to get his attention.

“Oh. Hello, Dean.” Dean couldn’t see his face, but he could hear the smile in his voice.

“You’ve got the camera flipped. I’m staring at half a Gabriel instead of you.”

“There’s a joke in there about Cassie being twice the man I am, isn’t there?” Gabriel said with a smirk as he walked closer. His voice got louder, even as he lowered his voice. “Here, Cassie, just hit that.”

Suddenly a very pale and frustrated looking Cas filled Dean’s screen. Dean broke into a grin. “There you are, Angel Eyes. How you doin’, man?”

Cas smiled back. “I’m ok, Dean. Not...my best, but I’m ok. They tell me I’ll be here for several more days, unfortunately.”

“Really? That seems like a long time for, uh…” Dean trailed off as he remembered he wasn’t supposed to know what Cas was there for.

“It’s ok, Dean,” he heard Gabriel say. “I told him I let you know. He’d only a little pissed at me.”

Cas frowned, looking sideways. “I had to have surgery on my arm to repair the bone, that’s why the extra recovery time.”

“Oh.” Dean suddenly felt very scared. Without thinking, he blurted, “Quit your job, Cas.”

“Dean,” Cas started to protest, but he was overridden by Gabriel’s voice.

“Thank you, Dean-O! Been telling him that for years!” Suddenly Gabriel’s face came into view on the screen. “Let’s gang up on him while he’s weak and force him to retire.”

The phone jerked sideways and Gabriel was no longer in view, but Castiel’s scowl was. He glared at Gabriel and hissed at him to give him a few minutes of privacy, then his features softened and he looked back to Dean.

“Let’s not talk about this now, Dean. Ok? I’d rather hear about how you’ve been.”

“Worried sick,” Dean confessed without hesitation. “Disappointed...lonely without you.”

“Dean,” Cas said again, obviously touched by the words. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get in touch with you sooner or get word to you. I hate that you were worried.”

“I hate that I had good reason to be.” Dean scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to relax his shoulders. “Sorry, you said you didn’t wanna talk about this, so we won’t. Let’s talk about what we’re gonna do when you get out of that stupid hospital.” He bobbed his eyebrows suggestively.

He felt a little flip-flop in his stomach when Cas laughed. “Does this mean you’re done trying to take it slow?”

“I guess that depends on how much of an inconvenience that arm is going to be.”

“I am certain we can work around it.”

Dean’s smile was full of dirty promise. “In that case, full speed ahead.”

Cas smiled shyly, biting his lip. Then he nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

Dean stretched out his arm and Cas immediately noticed he wasn’t at the bar.

“Where are you, Dean? You’re not working today?”

“Nah, I was, but I got Ash to cover for me and came home so I could talk to you.”

“We don’t have much time. Show me your apartment?”

So Dean took Cas on a the brief walking tour, starting with the miniscule kitchen, then the tiny bathroom, the nearly non-existent bedroom and finally back to the Lilliputian living room. “It’s not much,” he said apologetically.

“It’s not much different from my own, Dean.” Cas sighed then, looking away from the phone. “There’s Gabriel and I see...someone else with him. Perhaps we can speak again tomorrow?”

“We’d better! Turn your phone on.”

“I’ll get Gabriel to charge it for me. Goodbye, Dean.”

“Bye, Cas.”

As Dean looked around his small apartment, he realized how much bigger and emptier it felt now without Cas’ face and voice to warm it up.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets released.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the real smut begins...

* * *

They managed to talk everyday until Cas got released from the hospital. Dean had broached the subject of Cas maybe changing jobs only one other time. Cas refused to discuss it, but promised they would talk about it when he was out of the hospital. Dean agreed to that willingly enough and they made plans to get together as soon as Cas was released.

Dean offered to take off work and pick him up, but Cas said it was easier if Gabriel picked him up and dropped off. They agreed that Dean would pick him up after work. Dean got to the bar that day with a buzz under his skin and a skip in his step. He couldn’t wait to see Cas again. It was still hours yet before he’d get to see him, but once Dean picked him up, they’d be heading back to Dean’s apartment for the first time.

It might even be Cas’ first time, depending on whether he thought he was ready. Honestly, Dean wasn’t sure if _*he*_ was ready - but he really, really wanted to be. He tried not to wig out at the idea of being Cas’ first lover. He did his best not to think about it. Especially since thinking about it was about to result in a situation that even standing behind a bar could only do so much to hide.

He concentrated on worrying about Cas’ injury instead, and on wondering whether he could convince Cas to quit his dangerous job and find something that didn’t put him in harm’s way. He’d been at work only about an hour when he heard the bell chime over the door. He finished drying the glass in his hand before he looked and he was glad he had set the glass down first.

When he saw Cas walking in with Gabriel behind him, Dean bolted through the swinging hatch and ran to greet him. He swooped Cas up and swung him around in a circle before hugging the breath out of him. Then he sort of realized where he was and looked around, but only Ellen and Earl were paying attention and they both just gave him fond smiles before turning back to their drinks.

“My little brother here insisted he couldn’t go home until he’d seen you. Now will you please convince him to go home and wait for you there?”

“Gabriel, I am a fully grown adult. I can decide for myself whether or not I am in need of rest. I would much rather sit here all day than lie around in my empty apartment. I’ve been lying around for nearly a week. Right now what I want is to see Dean.”

Dean could see that a fight might very well break out, so he said, “Uh, how about a compromise?” Both men turned toward him expectantly. “I can get someone to cover my shift and I can take Cas back to my apartment.”

Cas’ expression softened instantly. “Are you sure you can do that?”

“As long as there is someone to cover, it’s fine. Let me go call. That make you happy, Gabe?”

“Ooh, I get a nickname, too? I’m flattered.” He dropped the smirk and sarcasm when he looked at Dean’s expression. “That’s good with me, yeah.”

Dean nodded and called Ash again. He was once again eager for the extra shift. Dean walked back over with a grin on his face.

“He’ll be here in a few minutes and then we can go. You gonna wait around till we leave, Gabriel?” The shorter man nodded. “You want another Kamikaze ‘cello?”

That earned him a smile. “Indeed I would.”

“How about you, Cas? You want anything?”

“No, Dean, thank you.”

So Dean went off to make Gabriel’s drink and left the brothers to find a seat. He wasn’t surprised to find them making their way to the end of the bar. He grinned at Cas as he walked over with Gabriel’s drink.

“It’s good to see you back in your old spot, man.”

“It’s nice to be back, though it’s only been a week.”

“Felt like a lot longer,” Dean said, forgetting for a moment that Cas’ brother was sitting right there until he pointedly cleared his throat.

“So, how long have you two known each other? My brother was a little vague on the details.”

“If you’re going to grill him, I’m going to the restroom,” Cas said as he awkwardly got down from the stool. “Dean, don’t tell him anything you don’t want to. It’s none of his business.”

When Cas was gone, Dean turned back to Gabriel. “Ask whatever you want, man.”

“You’re very accommodating,” Gabriel said, smirk firmly back in place.

“Yeah, well, I am well aware that I’m your brother Castiel’s first...well, I don’t know if I’m his boyfriend or not, we haven’t really talked about labels, but...I’m his first real anything, right?”

Gabriel nodded, smirk replaced with an expression of surprise. “So, you’ve known him a while, I guess, if you know that much.”

“I’ve known him maybe, I dunno, 6 months? It’s been a while now, yeah. We haven’t been, you know, together that whole time, but we’ve been sorta friends almost that long.”

“You really like him.”

It didn’t sound like a question, but Dean answered anyway. “More than I’ve ever liked anyone else.”

“You gonna be good to him?”

“I can’t imagine wanting to be anything else to him.”

The smirk came back at that. “Get to know him a little better and you’ll see how irritating he can be.”

Dean realized Gabriel must have seen Cas approaching in one of the bar mirrors. Cas let out a noise of indignation, but Gabriel and Dean just laughed.

“He saw you coming, Cas, relax.” Dean squeezed Cas hand just as he heard the door jingle. When he turned, he was happy to see Ash walking through the door, mullet flowing in the breeze. “Hey, Ash! Thanks for coming in again, man.”

“No problemo, bossman. Little extra cash for the Ash. Hello, gentlemen,” he greeted Cas and Gabriel as he walked through the swinging door.

“Ash, these are a couple friends of mine. This is Cas and that’s Gabriel.”

“Nice to make your acquaintance, boys. Dean’s good people. Sorry to see you’re banged up there, compadre,” he said with a nod toward Castiel’s arm. “Anything I need to know before you go?” This was directed at Dean.

A few minutes later, Gabriel was gone and Dean was escorting Cas out to Baby.

* * *

Dean was a little nervous as he opened his apartment door. He and Cas had made small talk easily enough on the way over, but now they were going to be alone with a bed. Dean had avoided anything like that all this time, so that he could take it slow for Cas. Now he was scared of losing Cas and he didn’t want to take it slow anymore. He wanted to have everything he could have with Cas, especially if Cas was going to stay in that stupid job and keep risking his life.

“So, uh, this is it.”

Apparently, something was showing on his face because Cas asked, “Is something wrong, Dean?”

“No, just...uh, just a little nervous, I guess. You know, having you here in my space for the first time.”

Cas smiled a little with a raised eyebrow. “And maybe not taking it slow anymore?”

Dean laughed, pleased that Cas could read him. Maybe it should scare him, but it didn’t. “Yeah, Cas, maybe a little because of that, too.”

“I have a feeling once we get going, you will lose all those nerves, Dean.”

“Well, then. By all means let’s get started,” Dean said with a leer.

Cas look panicked for a split second, then saw that Dean was teasing and swatted him on the arm. “Perhaps I could have a glass of water before you ravish me?” he said with a wry smirk.

Dean laughed, nerves forgotten. He told Cas to have a seat on the couch while he went to get them both some water. When he got back, he found Cas thumbing through a small photo album Sam had sent him earlier in the week. He started guiltily when Dean walked in the room.

“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind.”

Dean smiled. “It’s fine,” he assured him, holding out his water glass. Cas put down the book so he could take the water. “How’s that arm?”

“It doesn’t hurt right now. I had some medication earlier.”

“You’re not, like, stoned or anything, right? I wanna make sure you’re in possession of all your faculties if - “

Cas interrupted, smiling. “The hospital had me sign documents, so presumably they think I am of sound enough mind to make decisions. Regardless, I am not stoned,” he said, putting down his water and taking Dean’s free hand. “And I wanted you before I took the pills, so if I say yes, I mean yes. If I decide no, I will say that, too.”

Dean nodded and sat next to Cas on the couch. “I don’t want you to think...that’s not the only thing on my mind, Cas. I’m just glad you’re here, period. Even if we don’t even kiss today, I’d rather be here with you than...anywhere else.”

Cas smile broadened, showing his gums as well as all his teeth. “I know, Dean.” He sobered and turned away. “Perhaps now is as good a time as any to discuss my job with you.”

Cas took a deep breath and Dean felt his own breath quicken. The last thing he wanted was to hear Cas say there was no way he’d ever give up his dangerous career. Dean had no right to ask him to do so, but he had asked, just the same. What if that bullet had been a few inches to the left?

“I’ve asked to be transferred to a desk assignment.”

A grin broke out on Dean’s face at the words. “Really?” He pulled Cas into a tight hug, mindful of his bad arm. “Cas, that’s awesome!”

“You should know, this wasn’t an easy decision for me. I am not just doing it because you asked me to, though that’s a factor. I’m doing it because…” He ducked his head and looked shy. “For the first time, I feel like I have something to lose. I have something that means more to me than my work.”

Dean’s arms were still around Cas and he used them to pull Cas forward and into a kiss. Cas had been right. Once they started kissing, all Dean’s nerves melted away like they had never been. He moved on instinct and feeling. As they had every other time he and Cas had kissed, the sensations quickly threatened to overwhelm him. This time, they had been too long apart and there was more emotion wrapped up in what he was feeling, so it was even more powerful.

He kissed his way around Castiel’s neck and down over his chest and stomach, through the fabric of his shirt. His hands fumbled at the button on Cas’ pants. He looked up and met Cas’ dilated blue eyes. “If you want me to stop, just say the word. Is this ok?”

Cas groaned. “Please don’t stop, Dean.”

Dean unzipped Cas’ khakis and with Cas' help pulled them and his white boxers down to Castiel’s knees. Suddenly Cas’ erect cock was on display before him. He was close enough to feel the heat of it against his face and smell the musky tang in his nose. He felt his mouth water with the need to taste and touch. He realized there was no need for him to hold back from doing just that.

Dean reached out with one shaking hand and took the length between his fingers. Cas, who was staring down at him, gasped at the contact. Dean grinned as he looked up. “Oh, did you like that? How about this?” He swirled his tongue over the head and the noise Cas made as his eyes rolled back in his head sent a shiver down Dean’s spine and an electric current through his dick.

He popped the whole head into his mouth and sucked while lapping at it with his tongue. At the same time, his fingers were caressing the length of the shaft and the swell of Cas’ balls. Dean slid a little further down, then pulled off and licked his lips. He put his mouth back around Cas and sucked him in even further this time. He continued like this until he was able to take the whole thing, head of Cas’ cock in his throat, Cas’ wiry pubic hair brushing his lips. He held there for a moment, just sucking as hard as he could and humming.

“Oh, God, Dean!” Cas cried. Dean pulled off and looked at him as he stroked in earnest with his hand. Cas’ head was thrown back against the couch, his face and neck were flushed red and his breathing was ragged. Dean suspected that it wouldn’t take much more to have him flying over the edge. He didn’t intend to drag it out.

He took Cas’ cock back into his mouth, finding a good rhythm with his mouth and hand together. Occasionally he would twist his wrist or flick his tongue and earn a whine or a groan from Cas. He loved the taste of Cas’ cock, the feel of it on his tongue. His own hardon was painful in his pants, and he had to adjust himself. He made his own noises of appreciation, which he knew Cas could feel.

After a minute, he had to touch himself or go mad, so he slipped his cock out of his jeans and started stroking it while he sucked Cas off. He moaned around Cas’ dick and Cas’ hips bucked in response, almost gagging him. He pulled off a little and made the noise again.

“Shit, Dean...wait, are you… are you touching yourself?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Dean hummed around Cas’ length. Dean didn’t know if it was the vibration or the knowledge that Dean was getting off, too, but something had Cas letting go.

“Dean, I’m, fuck, I’m coming!”

Dean felt balls tighten beneath his hand and he took the shaft in as far as he could take it as Cas came in hot spurts against his throat. He swallowed it down and worked Cas through the aftershocks before finally pulling off. He continued to stroke himself as he looked at Cas lying wrecked and exhausted against his couch. He could have come like that, but Cas opened his eyes and placed his good hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Wait, Dean. Want to touch you, too.”

Dean wasn’t going to turn that down. He carefully got up onto the couch and knelt next to Cas’ good arm. Cas reached out tentatively and grasped Dean’s cock. Dean nearly swallowed his tongue when Cas bent forward and licked his precome-slick head.

“Cas,” he said breathlessly, “You don’t have to - fuck!” Mid-sentence, Cas had slid those plump pink lips around him and suckled as he drew back.

“You were saying?” Cas said with a filthy grin as he pulled off and looked up at Dean.

“Nothing, Cas, you do whatever you want.”

“Yeah? Then lie back.”

Dean did. Cas knelt on the floor between his legs. The angle was awkward until Dean shifted his hips. Cas might never have done this before, but he was a quick study. He mimicked a lot of Dean’s moves and, though somewhat awkward, they were effective. His eagerness and obvious enjoyment helped wherever his knowledge or skill was lacking. It wasn’t long before Dean was coming. Cas’ inexperience meant that some wound up on his lips, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Dean grabbed a tissue and gently wiped Cas’ mouth before falling back against the couch, pulling Cas down on top of him. He pressed his lips to the top of Cas’ head and rubbed his hands up and down Cas’ back.

“Cas, you are fucking awesome.”

* * *

They were lying on the bed now, Cas curled around Dean, head on his shoulder, knee across his thigh. Dean’s hand lazily stroked Cas’ arm while Cas’ fingers drew circles on Dean’s chest. Once they’d gotten the initial orgasms out of the way, it had left them time for slower exploration. This allowed them to get to know each other’s bodies, to take their time, without worry that they would reach fever pitch too quickly.

Cas had taken the bottom position, but Dean had no doubt they’d be switch hitting in this relationship. Cas was already getting bolder in bed and Dean knew it was only a matter of time before he wanted to try topping. Dean was perfectly content with that. He wanted Cas in all the ways he could have him.

“Will you get in trouble for leaving work early twice in a week?”

Dean chuckled slightly. “Uh, no, I think the boss will be ok with that.” He licked his lips and shifted slightly so that he could look down at Cas’ face. “I’m...well, I’m actually the boss. I own the bar.”

Cas tried to sit up, but his arm made it awkward, so he just sort of flopped a bit. Dean helped him up and noted the frown across his face. “You told me you lived off your tips and had to save up to fix your car.” Cas looked a little angry.

Dean sighed. “I do live off my tips, Cas. All the profits from the business were going to pay for Sam’s education. I lived off my salary and tips - and I paid myself the same wages as my other bartenders.”

Cas relaxed. “Oh. Wait, you said they ‘were’ going to pay for his education. They aren’t now?”

“He graduates in a week,” Dean said, unable to keep the pride out of his voice. “So school is all done. He’s got a job lined up and he’ll be making his own way now. So I can afford to take off a few days here and there now. Not to mention finish Baby.”

Cas grinned up at him. “That’s wonderful, Dean. I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah,” Dean said with a glint in his eye as he pulled Cas into another kiss. “Things in my life are definitely looking up.”

* * *


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7, time for a wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it kids, this is the end. It's not very long, but I hope you find it satisfying.

* * *

By the time Castiel’s arm was healed, Cas had met Sam and Dean had met Balthazar. Gabriel had come to visit a couple more times, which both Cas and Dean suspected was strictly to check up on Dean and see how he was treating Gabriel’s baby brother. Cas had gone back to work after a week, in his new desk job. He still wasn’t really allowed to tell Dean much about his old job, but his desk job was open for discussion. Dean was down to 4 nights a week at the bar, so they had a lot of free time together.

Once his arm was all better, Dean finally got to teach Cas all the ins and outs of pool at the bar after hours. That meant a lot of making out on the pool table, but neither of them was complaining. Cas even got good enough that he could occasionally beat Dean at a game, though he used some tactics - namely making out-type tactics - that weren’t strictly league-approved. Dean didn’t mind too much.

About a year after they met, Dean had saved up enough to start building a house on the “family property” where they had gone parking in the Impala so many times. It had actually belonged to him the whole time. It would take some time for the house to be finished, but in the mean time, he asked Cas to move in with him in his tiny little apartment.

A week before the house was finished, Dean proposed, down on one knee, standing by the pool table where they’d had their first kiss. Cas accepted with tears in his eyes and made no mention of the ones in Dean’s.

6 months after they moved into their new house, they flew to Hawaii for the ceremony, with Sam and Gabriel as their best men. At the reception, they danced to a re-gendered version of “Angel Eyes” by Jeff Healey and they both cried. When it came time for champagne, Dean’s toast was short and sweet. He raised his glass to Cas and said, “Cheers, Angel Eyes.”

* * *


End file.
